| Yeah... |
[Jul. 15th, 2005|09:49 am] |
This entry is just to confuse you. I don't post on livejournal anymore.
So I've added a few wrestlers I watch wrestle here in Methatine (er, Muscatine) on my livejournal friends list for the sake of convenience. I'm starting to comment on some of their posts so if for any reason they come over here and start reading my posts (I don't mind, that's why it's still up), know that anything you read on my livejournal was when I was eighteen into early nineteen and I broke up with a girlfriend in there so there's probably a good deal of teenage angst toward the end. I'm at Blog City now, as you may be able to decipher from my previous post.
...but I heart you guys. In a completely heterosexual wrestling fan sort of way.
EDITED ONE DAY LATER BECAUSE OF BEING A TIRED IDIOT AT THE TIME. |
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| Movin' on up...to the east side |
[Oct. 30th, 2004|08:51 am] |
Or rather, blog city.
http://knight.blog-city.com
It'll explain why. I got tired of livejournal's lack of options (or rather, options I like). Either way, I'm there now. So, bookmark it and get rid of this one because I don't really plan on using it anymore except for nostalgia. |
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| Lists rule |
[Oct. 28th, 2004|02:41 pm] |
I like lists. When you think about it, lists of things kick ass. David Letterman banks on it every night. I think I should make more lists like I did during the Grudge update.
Top Things to Make Lists Of
4. Lists
3. Slang words for sexual organs
2. Insulting nicknames I've given to some loser (i.e. Prettz)
1. Shit that pisses me off to no end. |
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| Want an hour and a half of no plot and cheap scares? The Grudge is for you! |
[Oct. 24th, 2004|09:25 pm] |
I went to see it tonight before work. Wow. This was basically the Ring with more action from the dead people.
*slow violin music plays, becoming faster and faster as he goes toward the closet door. He opens the door and OMG DEAD GIRL IN YOUR FACE AHHHHHHHHH*
You know what pisses me off about horror movies the most? How every character in them seems to fall under the same damn horror movie stereotype. When they hear spooky noises, they feel like they have to be Sherlock Holmes and solve the mystery of the creaking house. In order to make horror movies realistic, I've decided to compile a list of things that real people do when spooky things start happening.
Top Things to Do When Spooky Shit Happens
1. Leave
Come to think of it, that's the only one. Of course, in this movie, it wouldn't have helped you (the only semblance of plot in the whole thing) but in every other movie it would. I don't know why everybody was scared of the little naked asian boy that went "meow" every so often. I couldn't take him seriously at all.
Once again, we fell victim to the same two things to expect whenever we go to our movie theatre. Some stupid whore teenager left her cell phone on and some bad parent brought her kid to see the movie, too. I wanted to smack the bitch in front of me with a 2x4 because whenever a cheap scare came up, she would jump way back into her seat and hit me in the knee. I was trying so hard to not punch her in the neck. So, what have I learned from the Grudge? Easy. Ashton Kutcher and Bernie Mac both need to die. I saw the preview for his next movie, which I already forgot the title of, and I was ready to take a swan dive off the tallest building I could find. Ashton had one flash of brilliance in the Butterfly Effect and decided that it wasn't his style. Fuck Ashton. Fuck Mr. 3000, fuck Bernie Mac and fuck his stupid name. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 24th, 2004|08:55 am] |
Ho-ly shit. You know, there are times when I hate living in Muscatine, IA. What would be the main reason? When kickass fucking limited release movies AREN'T released in this shitty little backwoods town. One will be released (not here, of course) that I want to see very badly. What would it be?
It would be the Machinist. Christian Bale. Just seeing his name makes me want to see it but after reading up on the plot, how could I NOT want to see it? Christian Bale is one of the few actors out there that kicks ass in anything he's in. He could have been the Cat in the fucking Hat and made it awesome. Go read up on it yourself if you haven't heard of the movie. There's a trailer here.
http://www2.paramountclassics.com/machinistmovie-com/large.html
There are no special effects on Christian, either. He lost 65 lbs in order to get into the role. He weighed in at 130 (now I feel better...lol) and actually wanted to lose more but they didn't want to put him at risk. His diet consisted of a can of tuna and an apple every day...that was all he ate. I don't know how long he did that but jesus christ, I can't even imagine that. |
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| Angry at the world |
[Oct. 23rd, 2004|12:12 pm] |
Why?
I got Kindred: The Embraced yesterday in the mail. I had a chance to sit down this morning and watch episode one of nine. This show is really good, better than most shows you see in the same category as this one (Highlander, Xena, Hercules...you know...usually half an hour to an hour of B movie acting and crappy everything) and it has recognizable actors for once. I do have two major gripes, being that the special effects are shitty and the one Nosferatu I saw in the episode looks too human. WAY too human. Other than that, it's great. I especially loved the actor that plays Julian, the Ventrue Prince. By god, he embodies a Ventrue in every way. Looks, dress, speech...the man that plays him IS a Ventrue. Here's a page with his pics from the show and even a few sound clips.
http://www.mark-frankel.com/kte/sights.asp
So why am I pissed? Because the fucking show wasn't given a chance. I mean, 8 or 9 episodes and they decided it was shit. You think Xena and Hercules were popular their first ten or so episodes? Fuck no. Yet they had about eight billion seasons. Fuck Fox. They suck. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 21st, 2004|03:20 pm] |
Everybody, say hello to car #3. This is my new baby, a 1998 Dodge Neon. Funny thing...my old car broke down the same day I bought my new one. Great timing. I think it sensed that it was being gotten rid of so it just decided to committ suicide. Fuck that Chrysler, that good for nothing piece of shit.
At $3,995, I'm getting a good buy I think. Hopefully, it lasts longer than my last two did. |
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| Yay |
[Oct. 21st, 2004|03:39 am] |
Yay for facial hair! |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 17th, 2004|12:13 pm] |
Looking back at that little survey whatchamacallit, there are some things I want cleared up from jagyd and Jessica and some comments I want to make.
1. The fact that jagyd still brings up the "yoga" technique tells me that she is in fact, very much obsessed with it. I'm about 90% sure now that she uses the internet at work to try and find as much video as possible of men performing this act. Who knew that deep down, she's such a filthy pervert?
2. I don't get the 129 lbs. thing jagyd. If it were like, 98.6 degrees Fahrenheit or something, I'd have chuckled.
3. I also want to say that jagyd is officially the laziest survey taker I've ever seen.
4. Jessica...you think my neck stands out? Like...my neck is cute? ...what the hell is cute about my neck? Or my nose, for that matter.
5. Jessica says she won't go into what stands out emotionally here, which requires me to state that she will go into it elsewhere. Soon. Or I'll stop loving her.
6. Last but not least, I did a search on that line from the song you mentioned Jessica and this is the one I think you're talking about.
Breaking Benjamin
"So Cold"
Crowded streets all cleared away
One by One
Hollow heroes seperate
As they run
You're so cold
Keep your hand in mine
Wise men wonder while
Starved men die
[Chorus]
Show me how we end this alright
Show me how defenseless you really are
Satisfy an empty inside
That's alright, let's give this another try
If you find your family, don't you cry
In this land of make-believe, dead and dry
You're so cold, but you feel alive
Lay your hands on me one last time
[Chorus x2]
It's alright [x9] |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 15th, 2004|02:03 pm] |
Check this shit out.
I bought this DVD today. For those of you who don't know, it's a nine episode series based off of Vampire: The Masquerade that was ran almost ten years ago on Fox. It was cancelled because of lack of viewer interest even though I heard it kicks hella ass (pardon my Cartman language) and it was only $11 something on Amazon. I couldn't resist buying it. I'll be watching on my next couple of days off, hopefully. I hope they're long episodes, though. I can't imagine them being half an hour long and taking up two discs. I guess I'll find out.
Oh...my car is officially the biggest piece of shit ever. I'm buying a new one soon. Within a month, hopefully. |
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| ANSWER |
[Oct. 11th, 2004|06:07 pm] |
1. Who are you?
2. Are we friends?
3. When and how did we meet?
4. How have I affected you?
5. What do you think of me?
6. What's the fondest memory you have of me?
7. How long do you think we will be friends?
8. Do you love me?
9. Do you have a crush on me?
10. Would you kiss me?
11. Would you hug me?
12. Physically, what stands out?
13. Emotionally, what stands out?
14. Do you wish I was cooler?
15. On a scale of 1-10, how hot am I?
16. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
17. Am I loveable?
18. How long have you known me?
19. Describe me in one word.
20. What was your first impression?
21. Do you still think that way about me now?
22. What do you think my weakness is?
23. Do you think I'll get married?
24. What makes me happy?
25. What makes me sad?
26. What reminds you of me?
27. If you could give me anything what would it be?
28. How well do you know me?
29. When's the last time you saw me?
30. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
31. Do you think I could kill someone?
32. Are you going to put this on your LJ and see what I say about you? |
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| Jumble |
[Oct. 10th, 2004|06:41 am] |
Ugh...I've got this tune playing in my head to a song I want to write but I cannot for the life of me put words to it in a way that satisfies me. A lot of people listen to music out there about completely recycled crap. I don't know how many times I've heard a song about how some nerd thinks his girlfriend was a bitch/stupid/desperate/blah blah or some emo kid singing about how his parents suck. It's not the topics that suck, though. It's how they sing them. You can sing about anything you want but at least have the talent to make it something complex and artistic. That's what music is. Art. Songs lately are about as artistic as graffiti. So when I write a song, it has to be something better than average, which is why I have so much trouble writing lyrics.
I do have the title to the song and I want to build around it. A song about Insomnia. But there are so many questions to answer while writing it, the main one being; Why does the person in this song have insomnia? What is causing them so much stress and/or pain that they simply can't sleep? It's the most important question to answer because it will influence every word that I type in. I don't want to use some cliched topic like "I love my girl but she left me" either. Something unique...hmm...it will come to me eventually. |
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| WHAT?! |
[Oct. 7th, 2004|01:17 pm] |
Okay, I went and got my YMCA membership today. I WILL use this thing because it cost me $280 and if anyone expects me to waste that, you're sadly mistaken. When I spend that kind of money, I'm getting my full use out of it.
While I was there working out today, I decided to weigh myself since I hadn't in a long time. Otter was with me so he stepped on. A respectable 181 lbs. He's like, 6'2" and does absolutely nothing energetic. He's got more muscle than me, however. It's in his genes I guess. Of course, that was what I thought when I stepped on the scale. Last time I weighed myself, I was hovering around 165 lbs.
This scale, however, told me I was 139 and 1/2 lbs.
I'm sorry...I'm 6'0", maybe 6'1" and you're telling me I don't even reach 140 lbs?! I refuse to believe that scale because I looked in the mirror at myself. I won't be modest, I can see a noticeable difference in my fat. It didn't cut any of my muscle because I actually felt I was lifting heavier weights than I used to in high school (due to pulling pallets across stores and such) so it had to be mostly fat. But it wasn't THAT big of a difference. If somehow 20 or 30 lbs. only reduces your waistline a little bit, than I'm just completely baffled as to where that weight was that I lost, IF I lost it. I'm still in shock because Brandon weighed in correctly, he said. Hm...
Oh well. It doesn't matter. The point is, my arms are sore as hell (arm workout) and I'll try hitting the weights again either tomorrow (different body section) or on Saturday. I ran a good mile to warm up and played some basketball with Otter. I had like, a 10% shot completion but it WASN'T because I can't play. I just haven't played in like, 3 years. It took me a while to find my shot. It brought some painful memories of drills back in middle school. They worked you like mules, man, it wasn't easy. Pushups, sprint drills, jumping drills (try that one...go up to a wall and reach as high as you can. Find a spot on the wall roughly six inches higher and jump continuously, touching that spot. Do it for a few minutes...it is nightmarish) and all of that added up. Still, it wasn't until high school that I hit my athletic peak. I didn't exercise at all and could still run a mile under 8 minutes. Growth spurts rule. I hope I get another one. |
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| Tuning it out |
[Oct. 3rd, 2004|10:19 am] |
It's not easy but I'm trying. After having several conversations with Sharon, I've made my own decisions about the situation and I'm satisfied with logic enough to think that I'm right, whether she tells me otherwise or not. I'm not mad at her, though. I've got a strong heart, one that can't be broken so badly that I can't pick up the pieces and mend it. I'm still friends with her and like I said, even she's up for the possibility of "one day trying again" meaning that she's kind of a future prospect now. I'll hold her to that if we're both single some day down the road.
I've been trying to keep my mind on other things. Obviously, wrestling being the main thing. Tomorrow I'm going to the YMCA to pick up a membership and I'm going to start hitting the weight room and the swimming pool regularly. At least three times a week, hopefully five or six if I can get into a habit. It's in my best interests to.
Now that I don't need to concern myself with moving right away, though...I've been a little more lenient with my spending. I'm trying to take my mind off of it and I think the best way for me to do that is through music. I'm going to check out guitar prices in a day or two and see if I can get a decent one for a cheap price. I wish I could buy remixing software so I could contribute to OCRemix....I've always had ideas in my head for some great ones but the technology is a couple hundred bucks. It's within my price range but I don't WANT to spend a couple hundred on a piece of software to make music on my computer if I can help it. Anyone want to donate to the "Expanding My Musical Horizons" fund? heh
I still have songs I'm writing...my pride and joy is still a song that I sort of based on Jessica but it has some elements of jagyd in it, too. The song is sexual in nature (the Jessica part) but the attitude of the person I'm talking about is sort of like if you took jagyd from everyday conversations and then made it completely sexual. I rewrote it and I think it's better.
I know, I know...the last thing you want to see is some angsty teenage song, right? Not angsty in the least. And it's my journal so if you're still reading, it means you're interested. I'm thinking about recording me singing it a capella, if you want to hear how it would go without music so you could get a basic idea. Depends on how shitty my mic is.
Godlike
Numb with desire,
you've opened my mind.
Made me perspire,
and rendered me blind.
Speak without speaking,
you'll bend me again.
Wrap me around your ring finger and then...
Tell me how you do it, so passionate.
Tell me how you do it, unbridled and
Tell me how you do it, it hurts to think that
you're so godlike.
Yes, you're so godlike.
Lost in the moment,
warm to the touch.
You never thought once that it was a bit much.
Speak without speaking,
you bent me again.
Wrapped me around your ring finger and then...
Tell me how you do it, so passionate.
Tell me how you do it, unbridled and
Tell me how you do it, it hurts to think that
You're so godlike
Yes, you're so godlike.
and then...
and then...
and then...
and then I...
Broke.
I, broke. |
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| Acceptance |
[Oct. 1st, 2004|06:16 pm] |
Lance: Are you going to be okay?
(*) Wicked (: Would you?
Lance: I would want to die, but eventually I would
recover. You will recover too.
(*) Wicked (: Recover to what?
(*) Wicked (: My gains....my job, my better health, my
diet...
(*) Wicked (: That was all thanks to her.
(*) Wicked (: The life I had going was in pursuit of a
life with her.
And that's the situation I'm in now. It's pretty much over. I don't want to give up hope, I really don't. What choice do I have, though? I talked to Jess about it and as much as I don't want to admit it, maybe I'm not a problem after all. Maybe it's Sharon. I hate going through all the possibilities because I don't want to believe them. I don't want to believe that Sharon was tired of dealing with me or wants to ditch me because I make a bad boyfriend. It hurts when I have to hear that she doesn't love me the same way that I love her. The worst part of all this is, I've never felt so alone. I know that I preach about solving my own problems without help but that doesn't mean it isn't comforting to know that there's a safety net waiting for you in case you fuck up. I can't turn to Jessica because she's giving me a dose of my own medicine...turning the other cheek in a time of need. I understand why...I deserve it. The rest of the people I talk to only temporarily ease my discomfort because I'm a victim of myself. I can hear the most rational, logical explanation in the world but as long as my heart doesn't want to believe it, I won't. I just can't.
It makes me wish I could jump into Sharon's head and find all the reasons to why this decision was made. To be in the know would be so relieving because half of my struggle comes from the fact that I can't be informed about everything. It seems like people love to spill their guts to me, let me know all those little details about their life that they normally don't tell people. When it comes to the ones I'd LIKE to hear spill their guts, they don't. They won't. They're too uncomfortable with me for some reason. I wish I could find someone and for once in my life, connect to them.
I still believe in my heart that if she put some blind faith in me and gave me one more chance, it would all work out for the better for both of us. I still think that she's jumping the gun with letting go of the relationship and not giving it an honest chance. I can hope beyond all hope that she has a change of heart...but no matter how hard I push, she pushes back harder. In the end, I can only come to one conclusion. She didn't give up on the relationship, or me. To give up would mean that she tried her very hardest to make it work, only to meet failure. As much as it hurts to think about, it made itself clear to me that this wasn't the case. There was so much more we could have done. In the end...maybe she just plain stopped caring.
If that's the case, and I really don't want it to be, I only see two outcomes stemming from it. Denial, which is the path I'm currently taking and hurting from. Or hatred. Trust me, I'm not an angry or spiteful person by nature. If this turns out to be the case, there are no words to describe how much I want to hate her. How angry I wish I could be and how badly I would want to let loose on her with a barrage of angry insults. Even I know I could never do that, though. Like I said, I still care for her, even if she doesn't care for me.
For now, I'll hope that one day we can try again...I won't be looking for another girlfriend around here, that's for sure. I just don't care about a relationship with anyone else right now because they can't offer me the peace of heart and the sense of purpose that she did. I'll just work at things...try to better myself, try to prepare for a future and let the other pieces in my life fall where they may. If I know what's good for me, I'll try to stop caring about a relationship with her, too. Somehow, though, I don't see that happening. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 30th, 2004|04:50 pm] |
I was at my mom's house for the last two days. All smiles and showing off the pictures. I loved the attention I was getting. "You make such a cute couple." "Wow, those are great costumes. Did you have fun?" I came home, scanned the pictures from my trip at Dick's house and came home, thinking of how great a life with her would be. Sharon was online and she messaged me. I was happy.
I now sit in my chair, Sharon's going to class, and I'm wondering how great a life without her will be. I've only come to one conclusion. Not very.
So what do I say now? Do I end the post on that dramatic note? Or do I continue on and tell everybody how I feel on the matter? It's choices like these that plague me right now because I'm trying to put myself in Sharon's shoes. She probably knows it's coming...my begging for a second chance. My steadfast stance that "we can't work out" couldn't possibly be true. My tear-stained face as I try to explain to her all the things in common and all the things I could do to make us work. Or the most heart-wrenching thing of all, how much I love her, even after she cut the string.
I'm left with choices. She said she's giving me up...for now. I can accept this...I can accept the fact that I did not grow up as much as I say I have. I'm still a nineteen year old, immature, inexperienced boy still coming into his own. I can have hope...wait and maybe a couple years down the road when we've both matured and gotten to know ourselves, we can try again if we're both still available. I can abandon my love for her and try to forge a path without her.
I can refuse this...I can take on the role of the stereotypical desperate male seeking to salvage the one thing in his present life that currently matters and beg for another chance. I can tell her every little fact that I know about what's wrong and how I can fix things. Why this didn't work, why it's possible to salvage this relationship, how it can work and the way that I'd do it.
The things that factor into this choice? Lance tells me to have faith in her. He said she's a great girl and that I shouldn't give her up entirely...just step back, let her be on her own for a while and to have faith that one day we'll be together again. That one day, we won't both have found new people and started lives together. That maybe just some day, I won't find out that I kept loving her and she found someone new and started a relationship and a family.
I stopped while thinking about this. Why am I making this choice to start with? Where did I go wrong at the convention? What caused this dilemma? It was so easy to figure out that it hurts because I'm sure I was thinking about it while I was there. Bobby and Sharon were so upbeat, so impulsive...when they were screaming and yelling at people to come talk to them, I was silently in the background, uncomfortable. I wanted to join in so badly but my little antisocial shell was there, telling me that as long as I didn't talk, I'd be safe from ridicule and the opinions that others thought I was stupid. It would keep me safe from the possibility that Sharon would dump me to the side because of my stupidity. "It is better to remain silent and let one wonder of your intelligence, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt."
I heard that line from my government teacher almost two years ago. At the time, I thought it was very wise and knowledgeable. "So true," I thought. "It applies to me in every way." I took it on as a mantlepiece for my life because I had always lived by it like some code. Today, I take it down because I know better. That nugget of wisdom is FOR the stupid person to live by. The stupid person remains silent so he does not let the world know how stupid he really is. The intelligent person opens his mouth and shows the world that he has something to say and if you want to learn something, he had better listen.
Not only that but at the convention, I did not act on my impulses. I played it safe...when I thought of something, I didn't do it because I didn't want to upset her. I didn't want to do anything that would possibly endanger the chance at a relationship with her. I fatally struck myself down with that strategy. I remember how much I wanted to kiss her...just once. I wanted to tell her so bad, I wanted to show her how much I loved her. I wanted to show her I'd walk to Orlando with my clothes in my backpack to be with her. I'd walk through every hurricane that has hit Florida and brave every flood. When we were in the karaoke room, I was so close to just saying 'Fuck it' and jumping to the microphone to spit out an Eminem rap (because karaoke would feel so empty without me) but I didn't because of the subliminal fear that I'd fuck up and make a mockery of myself. So I stayed quiet because it was the sure thing.
But why? Why would I possibly be a jackass? HOW could I be a jackass in front of thousands of people I DON'T FUCKING KNOW. People that in less than 24 hours I couldn't possibly see for at least another year until the next convention and by that time, they would have forgotten about me and that one Eminem rap fuck up that I did.
All of this stuff...all of this hurt, I know it's for the better. In the past hour, I've realized more about my life than I realized in the last nineteen years of my life. I'm not nearly as depressed as I was when I first started typing this because I know now what I need to do. I said to Sharon that I might need a kick in the ass every once in a while should I be with her down there. No more. If I can't shape and mold my life like everyone else, than why the hell do I deserve to be a wrestler? If I can't follow in the footsteps of people like Edge, who dreamed since he was a kid to follow people like Bret Hart, I don't deserve to be a wrestler any more than someone else who's working their way across independent circuits.
I don't want to remain silent anymore. I don't want to be the stupid guy that keeps his mouth shut to save face. I've got talent, damn it. I've got the ability to take myself above and beyond what I "say" I'm going to do. I can write, I can sing, I can wrestle. I've done all these things before and with great ability. I've shown that I have discipline. I've lost weight on this diet, I've shown my parents that I'm not some kid anymore that depends on them. I ventured out into the country to meet the girl of my dreams and I came back happier than ever. I may not look like it, I may not act like it but damn it all to hell, I'm an adult now and I'm going to show it.
And now I'm back to square one. My choice. Do I wait and hope things work out on their own or do I beg for forgiveness?
Neither. If there's one thing I'm going to take away from all this, it's that there are no set paths. I'm going to say "Fuck those choices." and I'm going to create one and add it to the list.
Sharon, I know that we waited one year for last weekend. We waited literally twelve months, the electricity between us building up to the point that it was overflowing. When we finally got there, we were starting to tire out. When we laid eyes on each other, it just didn't feel right. It's not fair that we had to meet under those circumstances. Combined with my insecurity, it was a disaster. I know that you may feel like we can't work out and I'm not going to deny the possibility. You want to cut it off and save what you've got now so you aren't hurt in the future. You don't want me to invest any more emotion in this relationship and watch it fail in the end, so I would go away more hurt than ever. It's the sure thing.
Please listen to me when I say that the sure thing is not always the best thing. I might sound desperate in saying all of this, I might be taking a risk that you'll cut off any strand of friendship you may have with me because I was too obsessive but I don't care anymore. I understand when you say the spark we had between us is gone. That spark is gone forever. It will never be back. There is no more "Sharon and Jordan, Online lovers waiting to meet." We extinguished that fire in Atlanta and didn't have enough time to light a new one because of exhaustedness and insecurity on my behalf. If your mom finally accepts me and your dad doesn't care (which is about all we can expect from him), than I have one request to make. Give me a chance with you one more time and we can do this the way we couldn't before. Normally. I don't want to be the "online" guy from across the country anymore. I want to spend some quality time with you. I want to do normal things like take you to the movies, out on dates, kick your ass at Mortal Kombat (because you wouldn't stand a chance, biatch) and act like a "just started dating" couple with you. We traveled to Atlanta expecting to be a couple that had been together a year and we turned out to be two people that might as well have been just acquaintances.
There you have it. I can't say anything more. The risk is great, I know. Even greater on my part when you think about it. I could end up with a broken heart and you're afraid that we could never be friends if it didn't work out. Trust me, unless you did something fucked up like cheat on me or kill one of my relatives (o_o) I wouldn't disown you as a friend for anything. I wouldn't take this risk if I didn't love you. Please, please, please give me the second chance I've never had. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 28th, 2004|10:07 am] |
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I've got more pictures of the con but I'm so tired that I just don't want to run to my friend's house and scan them. I'll get to them eventually, though. Don't worry. :) |
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| The picture is worth a thousand words...but I'll rant, too. |
[Sep. 26th, 2004|06:30 pm] |
I'm told I make great facial expressions. Never on camera, it seems like...heh.
Alright, the moment you've all been waiting for. The question on everyone's mind. "How did your trip go?"
Only one bad thing happened the whole time I was there. It was...that I left. Meeting Sharon was the best experience of my life...and leaving her was the worst. It was like I was given a billion dollars and then watched someone take it all and burn each bill in front of your face. However, I have to take the bad with the good so in that respect, I'm glad I went.
Okay, okay....Jess was right. At first, it was shy and awkward but NOT for that long. It was hard to be with the Dynamic Duo of Bobby and Sharon. I'll tell you...when they're together, they're WAY out there. Did you know that they have their own talk show but nobody films it? I have a feeling that one day, someone just might. Bobby has charisma. I only had to spend one hour around him to know that theatre is definitely the correct career path for him. Or a used car salesman.
Sharon and I did get to spend some time without Bobby and it was then I noticed that she was calmer and more lovey dovey. I didn't feel bad about us spending a little time alone even though it was made clear that it was a Sharon and Bobby event because Bobby was clearly interested in bumping and grinding against two other guys he found in the rave party for a couple hours. Sharon and I got tired of dancing and walked around for a while, talking about stuff. Her mom didn't want me to go inside their room and we respected her wishes. I did wait outside whenever she went to go get something, though. While I was waiting outside the door, I met this awesome guy that gave me props on my Hurricane shirt, which looks like this.
He asked if I was a wrestling fan. I didn't even hesitate. "I'm a HUGE fan of wrestling. Biggest there is." "Okay, we have GOT to talk."
And a few minutes of conversation went by on how great Smackdown vs. Raw for PS2 is going to be and how we're going to dominate people all over the world online. Sharon came back out with some Reese's Puffs...mmm...and joined in on a somewhat lesser role. She likes wrestling, too, but her mom won't let her watch it anymore. Even if she could, she'd only watch for Kane and the Undertaker for the most part. She'd pay minimal attention to anyone else unless they caught her eye. She loves the Undertaker and Kane. And Eddie Guerrero.
After that we basically just hung out. I did notice one thing, though, that Sharon confirmed. Her dad was watching us like a hawk. He was trying to be subtle and unnoticeable at first but I'm a kind of paranoid guy. I notice when people are around a little more than is normal. I'm guessing that they're thinking I'm untrustworthy, which would make sense, as it goes right along with my guess that they just want me to disappear from Sharon's life. I understand where they're coming from, being halfway across the country from them. My parents asked the same thing I'm sure they ask her. 'Can't you find someone here?" My answer is always the same. "I could, but they aren't Sharon." My dad isn't ready to accept things yet, I don't think. My mom is willing to back me up on it, now. She just wants me to be happy and now she knows how I can be.
If her parents really want me to give her up...I've got bad news for them. After spending time with her (and I hope she agrees), there's no way I would ever choose to give her up. Not in a million years. She's too perfect for me. We grew up a lot alike yet our attitudes are somewhat different. In a good way, mind you. I think we sort of balance each other. Where she's hyper and crazy, I'm a little calmer and laid back. I noticed that when we spent time together, we both sort of took on a little more of the other's traits and found middle ground to be together on. I find everything about her attractive...looks, intelligence, sense of humor. Like I said...perfect.
The only thing standing in my way is Mr. and Mrs. Jimenez. I was introduced to the former and he was polite enough, firm handshake (maybe it was just me, but it sure felt like he MEANT more than firm). We didn't say anything to each other after that. Maybe it was for the better because even though I had decided to be on my best behavior the whole convention, I've been frustrated over their attitude toward me and their refusal to give me even one chance to make a good first impression. Hell, even Bobby liked me. After meeting him for the first time, I thought we'd end up completely uncomfortable with each other. We got to talking by ourselves a little when Sharon went to go get money from her dad for supper and got to know each other better. That relaxed me. I was kind of tense around them both but he did a favor and broke the ice.
My little rant on how the trip went turned into a little something different...but it still serves the purpose it intended. All in all, the trip went fantastically and I hope those two put in a good word for me. I'd really love to see her again sometime soon. If not...the earliest time is spring break. Seven or eight months will kill me. I love her that damn much. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 23rd, 2004|07:44 pm] |
Less than 24 hours from now, I will be in Atlanta and meeting Sharon for the first time. This is very exciting and I barely got any sleep. However, that was NOT because I was so excited I couldn't sleep. It was because of my dad. Let me explain.
I told my dad about this trip a month or so ago. He said, "Hey, it's your life." and left it at that. I didn't mention when this trip would happen. Well, I mentioned it today because I had forgotten to earlier. Yeah, it was a little spur of the moment but in the end, he was okay with it. He was nervous about the fact that I was meeting someone online (who at the time I left at "friends") and made me leave addresses, hotel, names...the whole works. He woke me up several times rapid fire and made me do these things.
Five hours later (approximately fifteen minutes ago) he woke me up once more and sat down on the bed next to me to have a fatherly chat. He knew a lot more than he should have and he let me know that he had been talking to my mom. I was afraid. I mean, a lot of you don't really understand why I don't tell things to my dad. There's a reason, trust me. Even he knew and let me know by saying, "I know why you didn't tell me...I'm a hardass. You're not going there to go to a convention, you're going there to meet a girl." You could tell he was worried but I think the conversation with my mom finally started showing him that I'm not a kid anymore. He ran me down through the list of questions, "You know what you're doing right? You don't know anything about her. Is she pretty? What's she like?" I had always prepared for this day (for my mom as well) and had answers to all his questions. I think the moment I was proudest was when he asked, "You know these sometimes don't work, right?" "Dad, we've been waiting for this since LAST September."
I didn't escape this totally unscathed, however...they're forcing a cell phone on me and my dad actually said that he wanted the address to the convention in case something happened so he could come "looking for me." I shit you not. He'd actually jump on an airplane (of which he has an immortal fear of) and look for my ass in a city he's never been to before. Atlanta would not want my dad there. lol.
Hey, not a big deal. This got a huge barrier of mine out of the way. My dad knows everything about her now except what she's like and what she looks like. I'll thank my mom for that some time. From the way my dad spoke, she didn't say a single bad thing about me. She's always told me that she was happy that I grew up and make good decisions but my dad would never acknowledge it because all he's seen is my moments of being a klutz. I hate that.
All this...it's over. I now concentrate on getting through one more night of work and taking a nap before I go. I will get on this airplane, wait nearly two hours for the flight to end (and show the flight assistants how it's done "GODDAMN, this movie is shitty...can't you show something cooler, like Demolition Man?") and get to that hotel. I will literally sprint to my elevator and toss my bag in my room (taking time to snap a shot of my hotel room. You have to understand, I'm half redneck. Super 8's are fancy here.) so I may go to the con and find Sharon.
So now...I have a question. How do you prepare for the best day of your life? |
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| ....wow |
[Sep. 22nd, 2004|07:14 am] |
EDIT: I realized looking at the results that I forgot to put my name in instead of Sharon's....yeah...so I corrected it and got quite possibly an even better result.
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